The Great Mister Trash turns us on to a punk biker witchcraft classic & alerts us to the dangers of Six-Nipple Ectoplasmic Seepage (or, SNES)...! 

I only had time for one review this week, but it’s a pretty decent one.  Punk biker witch from Colonial America invades 1980s New York City – what could go wrong?  Everything. 
 

NECROPOLIS - One trick pony and unfortunately named director Bruce Hickey made this minor horror flick in 1987 about a reincarnated witch in 80s New Yawk who seeks to reinstate her 17th century Satanic cult by means of the "life force" of innocents.  You see, way back in 1686 in New Amsterdam, Eva (LeeAnne Baker) did a ridiculous nudie dance in front of a pentagram and screwed up a perfectly nice wedding.  299 years later, Eva's still kicking, rocking a  Madonna "True Blue" haircut, and zipping around NYC on a cherry red crotch rocket.  Heading to a pawn shop, Eva shakes down a Russian hippie (??) for some ring, and when he can't produce it she kills him...with her mind.  Another silly disco nudie dance follows, as the reason for this being Hickey's sole directorial effort becomes painfully apparent to the mystified viewer.  Where is the music coming from?  Isn't she on a desperate mission to retain her youth or something?  She just stops what she's doing and starts swaying her hips as the clothes drop off.  Whatever - that's cool.  Do your thing, baby.  We'll both agree it's magick with a fucking K in it and no one can say a damn thing about it.  Moving on -- Eva works at bewitching the Reverend Henry, a black street preacher who saves kids on drugs at the community center.  Somehow Henry has come into possession of the ring, and Eva wants it back.  Once retrieved, Eva is able to resurrect her brood, who all look like Bengt Ekerot from The Seventh Seal, only with more acne.  Meanwhile, the radio host chick and the cop investigating the death of the guy Eva killed to get her ring have a wine-drinking date at her place minutes after meeting for the first time, which is consumed with heavy-handed hinting that they are the reincarnations of the couple whose wedding Eva ruined back in 1686.  Meh.  Back in the streets, Eva is killing street punks for their souls, which happen to come out of their foreheads in the form of opaque slime that she laps up greedily.  Gross.  This is followed by one of the most insanely bizarre and stupid things I have ever seen in a low-budget direct-to-video 80s horror flick – communing with her brood, Eva grows two more pairs of tits and nurses all of her zombie followers with the ectoplasm that seeps out of her six nipples beneath the ol’ pentagram.  Now I’m here to tell ya: a scene like that is hard to follow.  Accordingly, the remainder of Necropolis is boring as hell.  Eva squabbles with some hookers, kills their pimp, and scuffles with the Rev and company over the radio chick, who Eva intends to sacrifice in order to summon Satan.  The witch is seemingly defeated, but her severed hand seeks revenge, and the ending is left ambiguous in hope of a sequel that thankfully never happened.  But hey, six slime squirting hooters, right?! 

Highlight of the Film:  Early in the film, the Rev is on a local radio program stumping for his community center and all the wonderful things they do.  Also in the studio is a young runaway named Phillip, one of the Rev's disciples.  Says Phillip, "I was turnin' tricks in the Village, y'know, cuz I was strung out."  "You were a male prostitute?" the radio lady asks incredulously.  "Yeah," Phillip explains.  "I'm no fag, but I did it cuz I needed the money."  Touching.