Compulsory Employee Movie Review #13

I Luv employee Gabus Maximus snarks and remembers about the movie Clash Of the Titans.

Lucky #13!

Clash of the Titans

Ok, so they're gonna remake this. I'm glad. I love it when Hollywood takes something old and wonderful, and then shits all over it for the younger generation. Because the younger generation is fucking stupid, right?

Right.

Anyhow, I guess I can't judge the remake too harshly until I watch it, right? But the preview is enough to infuriate me. With the modern metal guitars chugging over it like the soundtrack was done by Trans Siberian Express, you just know they're gonna give this classic fantasy movie the 300  treatment. And I didn't like that movie at all.

That being said, I admit that I will go see it when it comes out. I can't help it. I'm crazy about classical mythology and the work of Ray Harryhausen. (Mr. Harryhausen was the greatest stop-motion artist of all-time, in my opinion.) Not that Ray Harryhausen has anything to do with the remake.

And speaking of classical mythology, I went to see Percy Jackson and the Olympians the other day. SXSW was over and I was ready to let my brainwaves flatten out. Well, I fucking regretted it. It was a serious TURD. The moral of the movie was: “It's ok, kids. You might have ADHD and you might be overweight and play videogames all day while eating Mcdonald's, but you can still be a hero.” And that's really just not true. You have to work really hard to be good at stuff. There's just not that many lazy heros.

Enough of my SNARKFEST.

The original Clash of the Titans is an amazing, wonderful movie. This was my favorite movie as a kid. And nostalgia aside, it's still a fucking kick-ass movie. I used to watch it over and over. I watched that and The Beastmaster. Both of those movies accompanied many a-ceral bowl and pajamas in my den as a wee one.

So watch it again, before Hollywood taints your sweet, beautiful memory.